Daughter of woman killed by partner 'refuses to be another victim'
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Keeley McKee only learned the full details of her mum's death when she turned 18 A woman who was three years old when her mother was killed by her partner is speaking out about the damage caused by domestic abuse.
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Keeley McKee only learned the full details of her mum Leanne's murder when she turned 18.
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She is now channelling her pain into highlighting domestic abuse and the lasting impact it can have on those left behind, determined to turn her own experiences into something positive.
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"I'm not being a victim of this story.
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I am going to do something about it," she said. Warning: This story contains distressing details Leanne McKee was killed by her partner in 2003 Leanne McKee was killed by her partner in March 2003, weeks before the couple were due to marry.
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He then took his own life.
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Keeley was staying with her grandmother that night and expected her mother to collect her the following day.
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Her family protected her from the full circumstances of her mother's death as she grew up. She said when she found out, it contributed to her spiralling out of control and abusing drugs and alcohol.
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As a young child, Keeley remembers her mother telling her to hide in a bedroom and not come out until she was called.
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"There was someone trying to get in, and I believe it was that partner that she was frightened of," Keeley told the BBC's Good Morning Ulster programme.
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At 18, she found a news report online about her mother's death and confronted what had happened.
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"I had an idea but I think I was in denial.
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I didn't want to believe it and I didn't want to face it.
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I had googled it and saw a news article… I read it in the most brutal way you could probably read something like that.
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"I think from that time then, I just ran away from grieving." Keeley said she felt angry and confused, struggling to process the trauma. She said her mental health deteriorated, she withdrew from friends and family, experienced suicidal thoughts and attempted to take her own life on multiple occasions.
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She also struggled with drug and alcohol misuse and said the consequences of her mother's murder shaped how she viewed love and relationships.
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"I was scared to fully love in case that was taken from me again," she added.
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"For a while there, I didn't trust, but at the same time I've a lot of love to give.
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"And I believe the right day God is going to put someone on my path, and I am going to build that strong family unit.
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"And they're going to know nothing but love."
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Keeley credits her faith with helping her confront the past after taking part in a Christian discipleship programme.
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She said it allowed her to face the experiences she spent years avoiding.
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"It gave me the fuel, it gave me the fight to say: 'I'm not being a victim of this anymore.
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My mum was a victim.
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I'm not being a victim of this story.
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I am going to do something about it'." For Keeley, speaking up against domestic abuse is a way of living with her grief and seeking justice. "My mum was robbed from me. The life that I had with my mum was taken from me by the evil acts of a man, who I won't name because I don't believe he deserves me to speak his name."
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She added that she believes that violence has become normalised in society and said more needs to be done to tackle it.
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She said she also wants greater recognition of the lasting impact domestic abuse has on the children and families left behind, saying they can be left struggling with trauma. Keeley was brought up by her great-aunt and great-uncle, who took her into their home while they were grieving for Leanne themselves.
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She said their support helped her through some of the most difficult periods of her life.
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Now, she hopes her story will encourage people experiencing abuse to seek help and consider the impact on their children.
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"Think about your future and your kids' future.
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What image is that giving them?
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You're bringing them up in an environment that they will see as normal and maybe they potentially treat their future partner the same way "It's just going to go from generation to generation."
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If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, information and support can be found at the BBC's Action Line. Does NI need a minister for women's safety and health? 'A mammoth task': Dealing with the cycle of violence against women in NI
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